My name is Lana - I am a King's daughter... the basics and important facts, I am a mom to many - 4 of my own children and foster mom hoping to adopt as many children God blesses us with through our foster ministry. I LOVE my husband, children and animals. I tend to overload myself with too many projects, my mind is running in a million and one directions... and about 5 minutes ago I had the perfect about me paragraph... and my mind took a left turn along the way and here I am speechless... if you know me in person you know this is not uncommon.
My testimony... this has been something hard for me to share with people along the way and it's quite lengthy and just never really bothered to get into it for the most part, but it is important it could help YOU or someone else who is as LOST as I was. There is HOPE for us all... and I stumbled on it or rather it found me..
You see I was raised in a non Christian home - I mean both my parents believe in God, they both grew up going to church - mom even went to Catholic school... but some reason as adults they never took us to church, I had a half attempt to learn about Him once in junior high... a friend asked me if I wanted to go to youth group at her church... didn't know what it was but I wanted to go, probably for the wrong reasons, and my parents pointed that out when I asked them... I wasn't allowed to go because of my reasoning was about going because I had friends that went (I can't help wonder if I went... would I have taken a different path?) I didn't learn about Christ and in fact as I got older I ran from Him as far as I could and I really can't tell you why aside the obvious I didn't know what or who I was running from. I probably sound familiar thus far to others who didn't know God growing up... somewhere along the way I deemed myself as a Pagan - I read tarot cards professionally for sometime, as well as palms and even empathetic psychic readings... I have been on the radio, TV, Newspaper and worked privately... I supplied numerous people with their daily fix of what they wanted to know. I spoke against Christianity in which I had NO BUSINESS ever doing as I didn't know God's word (I knew very little bits and pieces) and for 16 years of my Adult life I was sure and believed everything I shared with others. It wasn't until many years of a messed up marriage, and empty heart and a home filled of metaphysical goods... that I started to need more, more than this stuff that was empty and taking up space - collecting dust. I had this sudden urge in the late winter to just get rid of things... Books on the occult, several tarot decks, ouija boards, bottle and jars of components the list goes on - I remember sitting in one of the rooms looking at everything and wondering what on earth was I doing, this stuff is just STUFF there has to be more and I felt Christ tugging @ my heart but I ignored it because I wasn't sure what it was that I was feeling and how I would share this feeling with my husband who was also lost... would he be mad? would he even notice that I was tossing away tons of stuff that we invested in over the years? He was so distracted at the time I just told him I wanted to reduce our clutter... and he was like okay sure whatever pretty much... and at first I made profit on some of the stuff sold it to those I knew who wanted it I still didn't know that I was baby stepping my way to discovering who Christ is... however all I did know is that getting rid of it felt GOOD it felt RIGHT and before I knew it one day we had a burn pile outside burning winters pine needles and leaves... and I remember looking out the window to see where my husband was because we still had lots of STUFF - that needed to GO and so out the door I went with tons of books each time, and other items burning them by the dozen... my children were like wow...what is mom doing? My son and 2 youngest daughters had just started going to Sunday school, and youth group with some other friends of theirs - I never withheld them learning about other religions, and somehow I thought It made me more justified in what I believed... :( but as they went I found myself wondering if I had been wrong all these years, I found myself talking to myself and yes answering myself too - and knew if I had any doubt indeed I was wrong, and had no clue what right even was - it wasn't until July 4 - when I was sitting in bed that I cried out to God and asked Him if He was really there please listen to me, please help me, please God save me, save my family, save my marriage... I fell asleep that night with a peace I hadn't known. I fell into a deep slumber and it was solid. My son was at camp during this time he went with the church, he didn't want to go... as he still doubted his beliefs as well as the theirs... I told him to go.. I am not sure why but he was a few years shy of becoming an adult and I wanted him to have fun... and to get away from all the nuttiness at home, so he went... everyday I would follow the youth pastors facebook looking for updates on their camp... he posted videos and I would catch glimpses of my son, and I would cry in happiness seeing him have fun. I couldn't wait to hear how his week was... I was actually nervous when he came home??? I am not sure why - he came home and gave me a huge hug and said in my ear Mom I need to talk to you about something serious, and I said okay... and we went into my room and we sat he said - I had an incredible week mom, it changed my life, I don't want to be the same person I was before I went to camp, I feel alive like never before and mom, I want to be baptized, will you please come? I started crying my heart was rejoicing in something I didn't even understand... and I was celebrating in my own mind and heart on my son accepting a Christ I did not know, a couple weeks later, I walked into a church for the first time for something that wasn't a funeral or wedding... and I sat in the back with my husband I felt ashamed of myself but the excitement for our son washed that shame away... or maybe that was God??? All I know is when I walked through those doors a peace I felt a few weeks before was there again a peace that washed over me and I felt like GOD himself held the doors open for me and said welcome to MY house, I've been waiting for you - won't you come in? I felt like I was a little girl in my daddy's arms in complete amazement and wonder waiting to see what was next... little did I know then I was. My husband and I sat I cried when our son was baptized I was so happy ... still not fully understanding... all I knew was this place felt right, I knew what I was missing it all came rushing in at once and filled my heart and soul with everything I never knew before. I wanted MORE... when we got home that afternoon I asked my husband what he thought of the service... we both chose our words carefully it is kind of funny looking back now... but we both agreed it was a good message so good that we would go back the following week... we both felt the same thing in the House of God, without a word spoken we knew we both were missing something incredible something that no words could ever describe... and we just stayed ... in a couple weeks I found myself sitting in our outreach pastors office... wanting to give myself to Jesus, and still not knowing anything and it was there he prayed with me and I was saved... when leaving his office he said to me - go and spread the good news. I had no idea what that meant... and it wasn't until a few months later I knew what that meant - I was baptized that year on December 6, 2009 with my husband, and my 2 youngest daughters... I knew sometime after that I needed to share who I was and what God has done for not only me but my family, and what He can and what HE will do for you.
Hello my name is Lana... I am a sinner saved by Grace
